depending on others?

Here it is,i don't know why and i certainly don't wanna know why i'm having a super hyper bad day today. Not only today,but yesterday as well.Frankly speaking,i'm not feeling so good now,i refuse to talk to anyone if i can.but hell yeah,unfortunately i can't live alone.

Let's start with yesterdayo,i'm feeling like wanna type in malay now,but idk why i'm still typing in english. I'm supposed to send my assignment complete with demo video for my network perimeter assignment. One group consist of two people and i'm with,err,let us called him A.
Two days ago,when i ask him,can you do the video for the assignment,he said he know bla3 so he said he can.I told him if he can't,just say can't,we can ask the lecturer to postponed it for us or something,but he CONFIDENTLY says he don't want to postponed it.(since we're already a group on the other assignment before which i complete it in nearly 90% of the assignment,he said he will do this assignment alone)So,a day before we need to send the assignment,
I relaxly sleep lah that petang. When i woke up,i ask him,the assignment is started or not. He said he just finishing some movies watching on his laptop. I was like,oh okay,as long as know know what to do later.Then at 10-11pm,i ask him to do the assignment,i volunteer to help him a bit.Then after i read a bit bout this and that,i said to him,i can't do this,its out of my league.Since he said he already read this long time before and research bla3 so i think he can do it.
Until he said he can't. i was like,what the f? you said you can do this? he said,ni linux kott.Then he thinks i know linux?

And the day after that,thank god our lecturer permit us to postponed that presentation and videos,for half a day,i'm like a crazy person thinks how to do that assignment,at last,nearly at 6pm(i've started since 830 A.M)i managed to do it,ALONE.When i was doing that,he said that he's reading something bout the assignment.zzz.
That's the last time i depend on him,or to be in a group with him again. No offense.We're still a friend,a good one,but not a groupmate anymore.

So,yesterday night,when i am alone in the room,i decided to do my laundry.After the washing machine finished cuci-ing my baju,i sidai it on at the outside of the room.
My college got some site(or compartment?) to sidai our baju there.Since there are no hilang baju cases yet that i heard,so i always trust gmi student not to curi my cloth.
haha.

Then,this morning,I've ask the seller(i bought a game from lowyat.net yesterday) bout my tracking number. He said he forgot to give it to me.So he said later he bagi la.I said ok lah,since it's still 10am like that.I need the tracking number to make sure where is my parcel. I scared that the parcel may have reach the gmi but the gmi staff may not be calling me. (all of our stuff are sent to gmi office) so at 12 cmtu i ask him again,he still said wait2,then i ask my..err.lets call her B. B to call the seller,or should i say C? ok. B is my friend and C is the seller. So B called C and ask about my parcel number,luckily 10minutes after that i got my parcel number.

i checked it at the skynet website,it says not in database. so,i was like okay then,skynet selalu like that.
Then i ask my friend B to called gmi to ask for the package.She said wait 30minutes,so i waits eagerly for her.till when it was 4pm (which is 35minutes after that) she said she cannot called them on some reason.i was like wtfffffffffffff...i shud never depend on her on the first place.but takpe,i don't care.i still have my last option left.

i ask mama to called the skynet itself and give her the parcel number.Shortly after that,mama called me,said that skynet itself couldnt detect that number so that number must be mistaken.She asked me to ask the seller.
so i ask the seller again bout my tracking number,he said he received that on sms too,he's friend gave it to him since he's not at office.and  he said later he give me the number. till now,still no news.i know i can't be cheated since he's actually own a shop and has being doing business for agak lama at lyn.net.

So,it was hell a bad day for me.since i can't get my game today..i was waiting for it like crazyyyyyy.
Unfortunately,it doesnt stop there.YES,i'm malang in every possible way today. When i angkat baju yang tengah disidai,i notice that two of my shirt(one of it is still super duper newww) is missingggg.
arghhhhh..i shud never have trust on you gmi student! you guys betrayed meeee! if i nampak anyone who wears my baju,you're DEAD!!

it was an emotional entry this one.and i don't even care bout my english.i'm feeling like dying =.="

so for short;
i tak siap my assignment because i depend on someone.
baju i kena curi because i depend on someone not to curi.
i x called gmi because i depend on someone so i couldnt get my game.

i shud never ever depend on someone anymore after this.
this is my last.

Putar Belit Ayat

Pepatah omputih penah mengatakan; 

"Something better left unsaid"

TAPI 

Orang melayu pulak suka kata;

"Kalau tak puas hati,cakap depan-depan"

Manusia.

Setiap orang ada karekteristik masing-masing.Ada yang straight forward.Ada yang suka gunakan kiasan.Ada yang pendam,ada yang lepas depan-depan.Semua tu kita semua penah alami kan?Kawan tikam belakang tu biasa la.Cakap pasal kawan tikam belakang ni,teringat pulak kisah tikam belakang yang jadi kat sekolah aku masa muda-muda dulu.

Mari nak cerita.Cerita bermula dengan satu hari ni,masa hari sukan sekolah aku.Everytime masa hari sukan,mesti akan ada tiket sukan tu yang kita dipaksa  kena beli kan? Kononnya,untuk upgrade sekolah la kan? Ada sorang member aku ni,nama dia Ali bukan nama sebenar.  Sorang yang agak berpangkat tinggi dalam pasukan pengawas sekolah.Nak dijadikan cerita,Ali ni saja-saja la scan tiket tu,then print balik benda tu untuk suka2(entah apa motif dia).Tiket-tiket copy  dia high-class,Cop pun nampak real.Siap penuh dengan kaler2 lagi.Si Ali ni pun bagitau la member-member rapat dia yang dia buat benda ni.

Nak dijadikan cerita,after habes je hari sukan,cikgu cakap ada tiket-tiket palsu yang didetect.Dan tiba2 ada seorang pengawas jugak,Abu juga bukan nama sebenar   bagitau cikgu yang si Ali ni(juga budak sekelas si Abu) yang punya kerja.Dia yang sebar sebarkan semua tiket2 palsu tu.Ali yang memang aku rasa  x menyebarkan tiket2 tu pun macam agak terkilan la dengan tindakan kawan dia ni.Si Abu ni memang macam teacher's pet sikit.Memang dia akan ikot semua cakap2 cikgu.Dia akan buat apa saja untuk tunjuk konon konon dia paling cool dan baik la dalam sekolah tu. Ali yang tak bersalah,dikira bersalah dan terlucut la jawatan dia dalam pengawas.Even member aku pun melucutkan jawatannya sendiri sebab tak tahan dengan cikgu yang percaya sangat dengan Abu tu.Tiket yang kantoi tu bukan kepunyaan Ali,tiket Ali ada cop siap dengan kaler lagi.Tiket yang kantoi ni just tiket photostat murah je.

Cerita tak habes disitu,tak lama lepas tu,Abu ni mula disisihkan dengan budak2 sekelas dia,then makin lama makin ramai yang tahu cerita,makin lama yang jauhkan diri dari dia.Masa tu,aku tengok dia memang xde kawan.Nak sangat jadi cool dan hebat.Padan muka,xde orang yang kawan dengan kau masa tu.Tak lama lepas tu,dia pun pindah sekolah sebab memang tak tahan la dengan sekolah tu dah.Yela,disisihkan.TAMAT.

Cerita kedua pulak pasal adik-adik aku.Nawal dengan Ainu Amirah.(Fai sekali,tapi dia x termasuk dalam cerita ni sangat)Tadi around 8-9,masa tengah bosan bosan melayan facebook,saja take a peek dekat republic of 1991.Then nampak nawal macam sedih semacam.So aku pun tanya,apa kena dengan dia.Then dia cakap la,yang dia terasa dengan kawan-kawan kelas dia.Diorang ada sesi luahan perasaan tadi pagi  kot . Then ada la budak budak sekelas dia yang komen sangat sangat tak patut dekat si Nawal ni.Memang macam macam la yang nawal bagitau dekat aku masa tu(Masa tengah chat tu ada aku,nawal,ainu dengan fai).Ape lagi,si Nawal ni pun berair la mata.Ye la,if kene kat aku pun,aku pun bengang.So Fai,nunu ngan aku pun pujuk2 la si nawal ni.Komen komen yang kawan kawan dia kata tu memang la sangat sangat x masuk akal.Sumpah aku dengar pun macam panas gileee je.Bukan nak backup nawal ke ape.Tapi,biar je la kan? Susah la nak happy kan semua orang.

Tiba2 ainu pun cakap yang dia pun penah kena macam tu.Dia pun penah terasa jugak la dengan sebab yang sama dengan nawal.Aku pun cuba slow talk balek dengan nawal ngan Ainu.Cuba pujuk diorang balik semua.

Yela,if nak bersosial dekat facebook pun orang nak komen,memang susah la.

pesanan untuk nawal dan ainu;Jangan kisah apa orang cakap dekat kita.Bukan diorang yang nak tentukan kita.Kalau nak ikot diorang,sampai bila pun kite takkan happy.Diorang tu sapa sangat nak judge kita,perfect sangat ke?okay adik2? be strong and be happy.Peace!

 

At Its Peaks!

With all my housemate left me this morning going to their classes,(my class cancel,yey!)
i got nearly nothing to do..
i woke up at 9a.m(kinda),went straight to bathroom..
after that,i grab my mp3 player and then..IT HAPPENS!

I start thinking about home(again!),just when i thought everything was perfect,no more home sickness..it happens..
i start remember about my ppc,my bed,my ps2 but not my family XD
ok,enoughwithmyego..
i also start remember and missing all my families..
my dad,my mom,my sis and my cat~(hope's still there)

everytime i said that i feel no more homesick..
thats a total lie,thats just me trying to cover up my feeling with my ego..
and today,for the first time..i cry XD
(dont blame me,perfect condition,no one there,nothing in my room,sad song haha XD)

damn,i miss home so much,despite my previous post that i said i hate home..
no im not,im dying to go home..

said whatever u like,im the last child,manja right? yeah i agree..
i dunno why i dont pick a college near my house..
im thinking get the hell out from this place..
back to kedah,gat back to all the comfort i had before..
get back the feeling i had in the last 7month (or 8month)

i wanna stay up late again..
i wanna online using MY COMPUTER again..
i wanna hang out with my school friends again..
i wanna sleep on my bed again..
i wanna eat my mother cookings again..

GET ME OUT FROM HERE!!

(lisa,mase tu aku cover gile sore aku..haha XD)

phase 5 *lets get going*

Hancur hatiku, mengenang dikau

Menjadi keping-keping, setelah kau pergi

Tinggalkan kasih sayang,

yang pernah singgah, antara kita

Masihkah ada, sayang itu

Memang salahku, yang tak pernah bisa

Meninggalkan dirinya, ‘tuk bersama kamu

Walau ‘tuk t’rus bersama,

‘kan ada hati, yang ‘kan terluka

Dan ku tahu, kau tak mau

Sekali lagi maafkanlah,
karena aku, cinta kau dan dia
Maafkanlah, ku tak bisa,
tinggalkan dirinya

*jeling eju sbb japgi dia sure pk lain*

hahaha..btw tu lagu aku dgr dlm radio td ptg

masa g amik borang dari sekolah then nak g pejabat mara

aku terdengar lagu tu n tetiba rasa nak letak lirik kat sini

lalala~

btw aku penah suka kat someone

dlu la..

1 ketika dulu..

aku rasa aku dh bg semuanya kat dia

aku EXTREMELY jatuh cinta ngan dia

mmg aku rasa rugi la dia xpilih aku..

sbb aku syg dia all out

xpenah rasa cmtu lg sblom nie

(tp tu masa kecik2 lg nuh xD)

kene rejek XD wakakakaka

then skang nie..

aku rasa ada org suka aku cm mana aku suka someone tu dulu2

mmg aku rasa org cmnie dtg sekali je seumo hidop

(sbb aku rasa aku pon xkan suka org lain cmtu dh nanti)

tp aku nk study dlu..

n aku tatau cmner xnk lukakan hati dia

lalalala~

aku reka je atas tu..kalo nk caya..

caya la :P

btw td g buat medical checkup

pas wat urine test ngan wat xray

aku g cek darah

then penolong doctor tu awek XD

dem aku sungguh x suka bila kene ngan awek..

satgi aku segan xpasal2 =.=

then pas doctor amik darah

(aku dh kekurangan darah skang T.T)

awek tu lekat plaster kat aku..

xsempat nk minx number fon

hahahaha XD

(astagfirullah,setia feeq,setia!)

*tp seyes aku xsuka bila kene wat something ngan pompuan yg aku xkenai*

haha..then aku g skola..amik borang2..

then g pejabat lhdn untuk matikan setem

(aku xpaham yg tu untuk apa)

then

g pejabat mara anta borang

then balik!

yahoo!

senang kata byk bende dh setel.

esok pack kot

aku xpk lg tajuk post nie apa

n kucen baru aku hilang!

aku dha ade gambar dia!

xsempat nak introduce dh ilang!

aku rasa ada org klhianat kucing aku nie..

amek n letak jauh2..

xpuas hati gtau la aku!

bukannya kucen tu pg umah ko pon!

kucen aku kuar umah xsamapai stgh jam sehari n selalunya dok depan umah aku je!

ko jeles pehal!

argh! tensyen

sape amik kucen aku maka..

maka apa hukum ?

=.=

geram!

samsung..er..lupa model..

hensetku..sudah tua..

samsung e300(kot) kepunyaan aku yg diperturunkan dri seorang akak

amatlah buruk sekarang..

camera,fuh!xley gune..

ringtone.fuh!polyphonic..

tp bukan aku xbersyukur..

aku xkisah jika guna henset yg besar hitam tu sekalipon..

yg penting boleh SMS dan CALL..

semasa ingin bersms 2-3 hari lepas

tiba2 hensetku tidak membenarkanku memberi sms..

argh! kredit habis kataku..

aku pon tekan *122#..

error..

so aku try lg sekali..

error..

demmmmmmmmmmm,ape kene plak nie..

so aku pon tgk la line..

xde line agaknya..

abaikan..maxis prob..tunggu dulu..

then pergilah aku bermain game..

sekembalinya aku 2-3jam selepas itu..

masih tidak boleh..

kisah ape..japgi ok la tu..aku pk..

then pergilah aku melayari internet pula..

dan di conference..

aku bertanya..

"dila,nani maxis prob ke?"

nani kata xde ape..

dila plak pengguna celcom..

"prob maxis kat sini je nie.."

aku cuba berfikiran positif..

"abes aku xbalas msj dia.."

fikirku lg..

then..aku mencuba sesuatu..

menukarkan sim celcom aku kedalam henset..

"pls pls pls work!"

malangnya..

error

OMG! henset aku nie..

dipendekkan cerita aku merana 3 hari tanpa henset..

mmg xmati kalo xde henset..

tp aku xley contact org n org xley contact aku..

bermulalah episod muka kesian di depan mama..

dan bermulalah kehidupan yg superboring jika komputerku di hijack~

argh! aku kene tulis esei sebenarnya untuk gmi..

300 perkataan tp aku MALAS..

post ni pon aku rasa2 dekat 300 perkataan (kire la sendiri)

dan post kucen aku tergendala lg walaupun dia di sebelah aku..

*aku tgh berExperiment dengan bahasa. terima kasih*

Am i Right? or just completely wrong?

at last aku berani ckp benda sebenar..
benda yg aku takot nak ckp sejak beberapa bulan lalu..
benda yg sampai skang aku xtaw betul ke x..
aku yg mula..
patot x aku ckp sbnrnya?
ataupon lg bgos aku xckp td?
kenapa kredit kene habis pada masa yg kritikal??
kenapa??
boleh ke aku hidop pasnie?
boleh ke?
td confiden je..
skang baru nak pk..
padan muke ko...
when 1 door is closed...
another door open...
mintak2 nie betul...
i really need another door..
but not now...
skang kita hepi dlu...
tp aku patot sedih..
argh!!!!!!!
kenapa kenapa kenapa??
kenapa aku start??
kenapa dlu aku xbrani ckp benda betul??
kenapa???

skang aku xtaw apa akan jd..let time do its job..

in the mean time..live your life feeq..

hate

You were everything I wanted

You were everything a girl could be

Then you left me broken hearted

All I wanted was your

Love

Hate is a strong word

But I really don't like you

Brought you around

And you just brought me down

Thought that everything was perfect

Isn't that how it's supposed to be?

Thought you thought that I was worth it

Now I think a little differently

!~im tired~!

1 word..

at last aku tau sapa yg tulis tu..

at last aku jumpa org yg ckp tu..

1 word in the 2 blog..

walaupon kau xnk gtau..aku leh cari sendiri..

seriusly aku sakit hati n jeles..

kenapa aku sakit hati?

suka hati aku la..kisah apa kau?

but..what to do? aku xleh wat apa2...

just let it be..

im gonna forget this memory..

i hate this memory..

i wish i never knew this..

5am..sakit hati sorg2..sapa suruh?

why i read that?

why its so easy to find out what hurt me most?

why i'm the only one who always hurt?

why me?

why not u?

maybe because i meant nothing to u..

im just a friend..

a friend who always will be there when u need me,

but u not always there for me..

being good is still not enough..

wth should i be?

maybe myself is not enough for u..

im just wasting my time..

i dont care...

i have plenty of time..

but why its so excruciating?

1 word can make my life miserable..

its only take 1 word to turn my life upside down..

1 word is more than enough..

1 word had change my entire life...

Mad and Dissapointed..

aku ada sorang kawan nie..aku rapat la gak ngan dia..nama dia Bihah..

kawan republic 1991 aku.sejak aku mula masuk republic tu memang aku dah rapat ngan dia...

kitaorang ske ckp pasai final fantasy n all the gaming stuff sama2..dia ni senang..

sama frequency ngan aku..aku xyah ckp pon dia dah tau apa aku pk..

n tommorow supposed to be her birthday..

aku dah plan dah nak jd org 1st wish kat dia..aku plan la nak guna pc nie nie kul 12..

malangnya,masa aku ckp kat akak aku td(sbb aku ngan dia kongsi internet)..dia ckp..

"xdak2,aku nak wat assignment malam nie"..padahal petang td dia free dia xnak buat..

aku xtreme la kecewa sgt2..td petang ada kawan aku datang umah..kitaorang syok2 main pc then dia kata."jap,aku nak guna jap..MALAM nie aku xda kawan nak chat"(sebab selalunya malam2 dia ym ngan kawan2 dia)..aku pon bg la..sebab selalunya ptg2 patot turn aku yg guna..

dah dia ckp cmtu..aku pon pg la jalan2 ngan kawan aku tu..ronda2 kat area2 umah aku..

balik dri ronda2 tu(dalam setengah jam later)aku masuk blik aku tgk2 akak aku xde dah..

dia g tido..(aku syok la sbb ingat dia xnk guna pc seari)..tiba2 malam nie dia kata dia nak wat assignment plak..gerammmmmmmmmmmmm tol aku...cm nak cekik2 jer...mang dia tu xpuas ati lama dah ngan aku..kenapa tah..ske sgt nyusahkan idop aku...xpernah nak bg aku senang..

aku still berharap kul 12 japgi aku leh on..mintak2 dia wat keje offline..so aku leh tuka modem aku masuk laptop kawan aku tu..

for bihah..sory sebab aku xleh on masa tu..adeh..kecewa bangat...geram pon ada...

kalo akak aku xbg..tau la dia..i'll get my revenge..

p/s aku ngan bihah xde apa2 k..kitaorang rapat cm adik bradik jer..